A Family’s Journey through Traumatic Grief
 

This website is dedicated in loving memory to Forrest R. Lewis, a loving husband, father, forester, and North Carolina native.  Forrest R. Lewis was shot on August 7, 1998 in Brunswick County, North Carolina by a business associate and died one day later. As the tenth anniversary of his death approaches, his family created this website to showcase a documentary titled “Over the Bridge” that the Lewis Family commissioned to tell the story of our father’s death, the factors that influenced the accused never going to trial, and the grieving process of each family member. The following excerpt was from a letter written by Caroline Lewis, the eldest daughter.
 

“On August 7, 1998, Forrest R. Lewis kept a 10 a.m. appointment by driving to the house of a bankrupt and struggling business acquaintance. He went to this man’s house on invitation. He went to the man’s house out of concern for the man’s personal and financial welfare. We can see our father in his plaid cotton shirt and khaki’s. We can see him drink from a cup of cooled coffee while he drives to Brunswick County. We can see him surveying the lumber trucks on the road. See him roll his eyes at a passing car. See him belly laugh as he relays a story about one of his child’s latest mishaps to a colleague. We can see him wondering how he will convince Henderson Gore that he can no longer financially support Gore’s attempt to “get back on his feet.” We can see our father’s brow furrow. Can see him imagining Gore’s response. Can see him imagining Henderson Gore stating another reason why equipment that does not belong to him cannot be turned over to my father or the leasing company. We can see my father switch lanes. Can see him put his coffee cup into the holder. Can see his Suburban driving across the Cape Fear River, as he wondered at the natural beauty as he always did. We know our father will accept Henderson Gore’s “stall tactics” because what else does an honest man do but believe in the honesty and forthrightness of another man. We can see our father convincing himself that all will work out right because every man keeps his word. We can see our father believing as he always did that every man does the right thing in the end. We can see our father looking into the immediate future, blinded by the sun’s glare, debating whether or not to even make a fuss. Why not pay the rental fees one more time? We can see our father hesitate as he pulls into the yard of Henderson Gore. We see him anxious because he must refuse to be taken advantage of once again by Henderson Gore.”
 

Forrest R. Lewis was shot in the back by Henderson Gore that morning and died the next day from the injuries inflicted by the gunshot wound. We hope that this website will serve as a coming together place for those who have lost a loved one to a violent crime. Our family’s personal journey to acceptance has been different for each member. Our hope is that by telling our story we may encourage others to share theirs. The bereavement process is difficult and is further complicated when the life that was ended was taken in a violent way. A litany of questions surface: “What could I have done to prevent this? “What was the last thing I said to my father?” “What would have happened if I had been home that night?” “How could this happen to us?” These thoughts often add to the loneliness and loss that is already there. “No one can understand my pain.” “I will never be the same.” “I can’t trust anyone.” “How did God let this happen?” “I will never be able to talk about this because people will think differently of me.”

Our family wishes to let victims of violent crime know that they are not alone. For years we never openly discussed in our family what had happened. We would wait in apprehension for his birthday, Father’s Day, or the anniversary of his death. The day would inevitably arrive and it would then become an intricate dance around how to avoid it. It was only by piecing together the events that led up to his death through interviews with colleagues, family members, members of the sheriff’s department, and the district attorney’s office that we truly began to heal. Recently, part of our journey has been to serve as an advocate for victims rights. When our father died, under the law we became the legal victims of the crime, however, we were not made aware of what rights we were warranted under North Carolina state law. We were made to feel isolated by the legal system.  On this website you will be introduced to members of the Lewis family and read about their personal journeys through the grief process. Clips from the documentary “Over the Bridge” are provided. There are links to online resources related to victim’s rights, violence prevention, traumatic grief, and bereavement.